Caroline Paltin, Ph.D. Licensed Psychologist,#PSY14274
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Life Focus Community Design

Suppose, for example, that a group theme is to examine the kindnesses that people have received.  The orientations and exercises during the meeting would be a starting point for practices outside the group. Sub-groups might explore what each could do in their everyday world to recognize these kindnesses--perhaps to write to a teacher, relative or  colleague who had been kind. Each would have to examine whether doing this would feel appropriate or whether it would feel sappy  or too late or unfitting for either their own style or that of the recipient.  No one would be asked to do anything other than what they feel is fitting for their lives. For example, a person who lets his actions speak more than his words should honor that. Some people may discover and accept their styles, while others may modify them. In either case, the discussion helps them become more aware and respectful of the role of kindness and more open to it.

Carrying the example further, suppose the meeting addressed the theme of  "novelty". People might be asked to write down during the week two or three examples of experiences that they saw in a fresh light. Perhaps they noticed the color of their spouse's eyes more clearly than they normally do. Or suppose they noticed a friend’s smile more consciously than before or heard a song more pleasurably or read a newspaper article they may previously have passed up.

          If generosity were to be the theme of the week, each person according to his own opportunity would do a generous act and savor it by just noticing how it feels.  Or, to address the more negative experiences, if envy or anger is the theme, each person would to notice his or her envy or anger and write down the circumstances and reactions of the people involved.          

         

Among the musical options, meditation music is a popular vehicle for looking inward and registering a sense of calm and acceptance. Other music from the general repertoire might be chosen or even composed directly for its value in framing specific themes. Still other music could have a ritual role in the group process.

For some groups the opportunity to play with creative perceptions would be inspiring. In one group where people knew each other very well, I asked them to look at the other people in their sub-group and decide how they would use each of them in a story, novel, or play that they might write. For example:

Whom would you use:

in a romantic adventure?

in a futuristic scientific fantasy?

in a spy or mystery

in a comedy

in a realistic story about the present?

Would they be:

hero/heroine?

villain?

lover?

wise-cracking, hard-boiled character?

 spy?

earthy wise man/woman?

comic relief?

innocent bystander?

tragic character?

          The sub-groups then discussed how each person evoked this observation in you.

          Another exercise is the following: People pair off. One takes a minute to visually drink in the other person. Then he closes his eyes and watches images on his own visual screen, watching them as he might watch a movie. Then, after a minute or two, he opens his eyes and tells his partner about the imagery he just saw. The partner then tells whether this imagery has any bearing on his life.

In another group, while still in plenary formation, people were asked  to close their eyes and to imagine that they are standing in front of a large stone tablet.  On this tablet is chiseled one of their personal commandments.  It begins with the words “thou shalt” or “Thou shalt not” or ‘you must” or “you must not”.  Then they were asked to imagine that this commandment is written in chalk on a blackboard and that they stand in front of it with an eraser in one hand and a piece of chalk in the other.  What changes would they make?  They opened their eyes and told the group what their commandment was and how they felt at first; then after they changed it.

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